That Kind of Stupid

It’s been awhile

To all of my friends, how is everyone doing lately? I guess we haven’t heard much from each other lately. I was in hiatus for quite sometime because a lot had transpired. I just wanted to let everyone know that I’ll be back again, visiting your pages and just like before share stories and ideas with each other. I missed the wordpress community so much, that I have so much to share in the coming days. I wanted to let you know that I missed your stories as well, and all of your poems that have been an inspiration to me. I hope someone will still be there to listen. I am now also available to be your ears. See you again in the upcoming days of rants and story telling.   -KazeLeeG.-

Trying Hard: Plan A, Epic Fail!

Haha😅 Trying hard to laugh out what’s inside of me. I really had no reason to laugh, even big time comedy shows and movies are tear jerkers. But I wanted to try, because I wanted to lighten up the burden. I sat down and tried to remember every single memory that made me burst into laughter in the past, then I caught one.

It was a memory of me and him eating at Dunkin Donuts somewhere downtown, it was bavarian filled donut he was munching when he laughed suddenly for no reason and the ecru colored filling started to drip out of his mouth looking like a coughed out phlegm (disgusting!😁) and the persons adjacent to our table saw it, and they were like..EEWW!😨 (big time!) then I bursted into laughter that I had hard time catching my breath and my eyes were already wet of tears (tears of laughter!😍), he was like.. hey! Stop it! You’re embarassing me.. haha😅😂 Hilarious!

Now that I caught that one memory I’m trying so hard to laugh about it. I laughed so hard, thinking wow! it’s working. But a minute later I found myself crying so hard, so hard that caused my chest to tighten. The only memory that would make me laugh when I think of it is now what triggers all the pain I’ve been containing all by myself. Epic fail! Why can’t I just smile and laugh without feeling all the pain? Ah.. maybe because I haven’t embraced acceptance yet. I just can’t and I think I won’t.😭

-KazeLeeG.

Photo credit: kickofjoy.com

The Monster in Me

I woke up happy

The next minute I am not

I wanted things to be done

The next minute I’m lazy

I wanted to be sweet

The next minute I became scary

I wanted to tell my boys,

I love them

But the next minute,

I started nagging instead.

I wanted to enjoy the day

The next minute I started crying

I wanted to forget my pains

But then again,

The next minute I started remembering all of them

I wanted to write something inspirational

But right after the thought of it,

I started writing about rants and hatred

I wanted to appreciate myself

The next minute I found

ME hurting myself

I’ve always wanted to be someone

Princess like

However,

The only thing I could be,

Is the monster in me.

© 2016 KazeLeeG.

Photo Credit: @choi_seung_hyun_tttop

That Friend of Mine

That friend of mine;

Usually ignored and neglected.

Voice unheard and unrecognized.

That friend of mine;

Who dreamt of better life.

A life where her plans

To be acknowledged.

That friend of mine;

Who just cries at the kitchen corner.

Where her tears are unseen.

That friend of mine;

Who accepts all the blame and shame.

Even it wasn’t her idea that failed.

That friend of mine;

Whose goals are for everyone’s benefit.

But always being accused of the claim.

That friend of mine;

Who never had her fair share of fame.

Receiving only all the rejections and blame.

That friend of mine;

Who was actually loved,

But was not given a chance.

A chance to be her actual self,

To prove her brilliant ideas.

These words; “That friend of mine”;

Are the words usually used in her stories.

To make sure she’s not being revealed.

That friend of mine;

A dummy which became the lead role,

of tragic stories in life.

That friend of mine;

Are words that comforted her expressions.

That friend of mine;

Who is actually me.

Me and my unheard voice,

seeking for recognition.

Still curled up behind the words,

“That friend of mine;”

 

© 2016 KazeLeeG.

Photo Credit: @choi_seung_hyun_tttop