Tag: faith

8th letter

To that one person,

I know you are not reading this, but still be patient with me. There are certain things I cannot tell the people close to me, and I just needed someone I could send my messages. Even though I know you basically, you are still a stranger to me because we’ve never met. I do not even exist for you. I just want to vent out. I am right now at the edge of confusion. I hate myself so much because I am so jealous about a lot of things. I thought I am okay with myself. But I am not! Aisshh! I hate myself to the point that I see a faceless woman in front of the mirror.. This is crazy. Because of my pride, I cannot tell my family and friends what I am going through. I never wanted to cross the line and be stalking and sending you messages. But I know it has the least chance to be read, at least some stranger in the universe knows my story. I won’t give up! I will fight fair with this struggle, but the F***i** question is HOW? God help me.

-me-

Wheel of Life

wheel

Most often than not,

the path through life holds

many uncertainties, disappointments and pain.

But equally, it also holds love, laughter and happiness.

Hence it is up to you to provide the balance,

wherein which would prevail.

For your life is largely under your control

and directions steered by yourself.

© 2016 KazeLeeG.

Photo Source: Google Images

My faith: Spirit. Earnest Desire. Truth.

 

15 - 1 (4)

Finally, it came to me that worshiping God is like coming out of a dark tunnel into a beautiful paradise. When I’m struggling to fight for the light while in that dark tunnel, I cry out for God’s presence, and ask Him to meet and save me. I plead to Him to pour His spirit over me. After all the crying out and pleading for His presence, I got discouraged so fast. It’s because I thought that after all those prayers asking for help and seeking for His protection, nothing happened. I turned my back on Him, thinking I could make it without His words and help, but I was wrong. Everything went bad and the dark tunnel where I used to be became more darker than it has been. Every day became more difficult and painful to endure, as every struggle came after the other, like how waves rush to the shore.

I became devastated! As if nothing could be of help to me. On a regular day of me battling these battles of life, finances, business and faith, a thought came to mind. A thought that made me remember the moments I cried my heart out to God and asked help, are the moments where the tunnel still have tiny rays of lights from tiny holes. I cried and seek for His forgiveness, realizing that a dark tunnel with tiny rays of light is better than the darker one I am in right now. I seek for His word, the truth of God’s word: John 4:24 24 “God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” I contemplated on this and realized that if all I have is earnest desire but no truth in my prayers or vice versa, I can desire all I want but won’t be able to go anywhere, instead I would be staying in the same place I am, and loosing every inch of hope and faith. Faith in God needs spirit, earnest desire and truth altogether.

I started praying for the spirit to come upon me and bless me with the right desires and to enlighten my mind as well as open my heart for the truth of God’s words. All at God’s right time, prayers are answered. My faith made me endure every challenge life is to throw at me.